September 19, 2011
Groucho Marx Saves America
By Stella Paul
America is roaring back -- with laughter. A fed-up nation with itchy Twitter fingers is bringing down what's left of an insufferably pompous presidency. How? By unleashing the most American weapon of all: the wisecrack.
A hilarious barrage of catcalls and insults has greeted Obama's latest debacle, a Soviet-style website called Attack Watch. With its terrifying design of red and black cellblocks, and scary photos of Obama's critics looking like Mafia hoodlums, Attack Watch openly solicits Americans to turn in their friends and neighbors for thoughtcrimes against the president.
Before we revel in our countrymen's deliciously rude response, let me show you the section of Attack Watch that truly creeps me out. Do the Stasi wannabes that write Obama's copy really think this invitation will win us over? "Join Attack Wire - and help stop the attacks on the President before they start."
Before they start! Hey, comrades, is your wife muttering Rick Perry's name in her sleep? Does Grandma secretly watch Glenn Beck? Report your loved ones' pre-crimes to federal authorities now! A few friendly adjustments with a fist, and we guarantee we'll stop those deviant, anti-Obama attacks, "before they start." Help us, comrades!
Within nanoseconds of Attack Watch's debut, a parody video by Ezra Dulis and Misfit Politics had blasted through the web. Then came the howls of Hurricane Twitter, a Category 5 of one-liners, as Americans competed to turn themselves in and report anti-Obama crimes.
"Hey, #attackwatch, I saw 6 ATMs in an alley killing a job. It looked like a hate crime!" "#Attackwatch, there's a new Twitter account making President Obama look like a creepy, authoritarian nutjob." "I'd like to report my neighbor - Bob, for surreptitiously scraping the Obama sticker off the bumper of his Prius." "My neighbor won't give me all her money even though she makes more than me. Look into this please."
"I just found out that Janet Napolitano is my baby's father. Can you let him know? Thanks." "Obama's ego is blocking my view of the sky." "If I tell you my boss said something bad about Obama, can I get his job?" "Hey #attackwatch, I found a website lying about Obama, it's called whitehouse.gov." "My neighbor seems to be a bit of a freethinker. Should I take him out quietly tonight or wait for backup?"
"I just parked my private jet in a handicap space, left it running & bought lemonade from little girls in yard w/o a permit!" "Dear #attackwatch, I was told in my Econ class that supply & demand drives the economy, not government. True or false?"
"#Attackwatch, when should I go to my hidden attic room, and start writing my diary?" "Can you follow the #attackwatch timeline in the original German...?"
"I'm reporting my mom. She said Obama needs a good spanking and a grounding with no ice cream." "Dear attackwatch -- the federal family showed up a week ago --- and they won't leave." "If I report ten times do I get a real watch? With secret decoder features? Please advise."
Now that's the America we know and love! We came to this ...... conthttp://www.americanthinker.com/2011/09/groucho_marx_saves_america.html