BEST ALEX JONES QUOTES!!

[Raincheck]

"I just scratch the surface and puss starts oozing out"

[Elvis M.]

"This isn't a game!!"

[phigsy]

Saying to Peter Joseph that he thinks he's some kind of higher species of "pothead alien".

Heh, heh. 

[Amerokan]

Over the past few months, I've been collecting some epic Alex Jones quotes. But this first quote comes from an interview he did on October 30th, 2001, which was the first time I heard Alex. He was being interviewed by Ian Collins on talksport radio in England, talking about how 9/11 was an inside job. And this quote is but a small excerpt from a 9 minute long scuffle he had with an English caller.

*Alex mocking the caller in his textbook elitist English accent*
"YEAH, 11 YEARS IN UNIFORM... I'M A DOG PLAYING BY THE CROWN. I SERVE THE CROWN. I ASSOCIATE MY POWER WITH THE CROWN. YOU'RE AN ANTI-ROYAL. YOU SHOULD BE ARRESTED. YOU SHOULD BE PUT IN A CONCENTRATION CAMMMMP. YOU SCUMBAG AMERICAN!! I WANT TO PUT A REDCOAT ON AND COME TO YOUR COUNTRY RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU'RE ARMED!!!! SO I CAN'T DO ITTT! I WANT TO BE QUARTERED AMONG YOU AGAIN!!! YOU'RE TOO POWERFUL FOR ME!!!! OH, I'M A REDCOAT!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOO! I'M A REDCOAT, I'M A REDCOAT!! Don't try to talk over me, buddy, it ain't gonna work."

--More quotes to come. I have quite a few.

[Amerokan]

"You're like somebody who lets a con-artist rip you off THOUSANDS of times, and we're going, 'Don't let 'em rip you off. Don't let 'em rip you off. Don't let 'em push you around.' And you smile at us with your mindless smile and go, 'Shut up, conspiracy theorist! I don't have to be involved in anything in society. There's no evil. I just need to suck my thumb' Well that's why your gas is going up. That's why your future is totally fried."

*dumb hick accent* "Or maybe you're with al-Qaeda?! You know about history! That sounds terrorist!"

"This is the... anti-terror stack today, which means anti-freedom... stack. Human enslavement stack. Here is the... police state stack. Each one of these is about an inch and a half, two inches thick."

"...human extinction, anti-human stack. The leaders just actually conditioning the public for our deaths. Preparing us for our cancer deaths. Preparing us for our bioweapons deaths. And making it very sweet, 'Ooh, it's time for you to die... for... the earth.' I got news for ya. How about you walk the plank first, New World Order? Oh, but you're the experts that have to oversee the great work, and so... you can't do that."

"The globalists set off a nuke, or fund some group of jolly rogers to do it."

"So they assault you, and if you defend yourself, you're al-Qaeda?"

"Ugh... they could be burning children at the stake. And they'd say, 'What are we doin'? Burnin' children at the stake?' I mean, it's-it's always a denial."

"They're gonna release bird flu! They're gonna nuke major cities! I'm tellin' ya, unless we get the word out, folks, it's over! Okay! We're going into camps!"

[Amerokan]

"It's like I'm sitting here on the deck of an aircraft carrier, and Komikaze planes are smashing into it. And the public is out there playing badminton on the deck of the ship giggling and laughing as gasoline and napalm explode and they're on fire, laughing."

"You tell the public that. It's like drinkin' a gallon of Jack Daniels and taking 14 Valium; they just pass out. A house could be on fire, and you could walk up to somebody's house that's on fire and say, 'It's a conspiracy theory that house is on fire.' And most Americans would walk back in and catch on fire, and burn up with flames. I'm-I'm almost serious! They are hypnotized, folks! You tell 'em, 'Hey, the dollar's just fine. It's a conspiracy theory that it's going down.' I see that all over the web."

*Alex from 1998 on his access cable TV show*
"...at the bar. So, y'know, your daughter is just this... well just this worthless whore. You don't care if she's out getting banged by the football team, excuse me, just as long as you don't have to buy the drinks."

"WORSHIP YOUR GOD RIGHT NOW! I WANT YOU TO WORSHIP THEM!! ... GOOD, THAT'S WHAT SLAVES DESERVE!! TAMPERING WITH EVIDENCE IS GOOD!! DESTROYING EVIDENCE IS GOOOOOOD!! KILLING AMERICAAAAA IS GOOOOOD!! See, their cancer cells are racing through. They think they're winnin'. They think they're winnin'. They're actually killing the body. They're really killing the country. But it feels good to be cancer! It feels good to kill America! And don't worry, you're gonna win! Don't worry scum! New World Order! You're winning! You're destroying it all! Go ahead, I'm sorry."

[Femacamper]

Nice ones, Amerokan...btw, where did you get that /nick?

[Femacamper]

My favorite AJ quote...
might have been listed, i just didn't want to read through 8 pages.

"I'm just a redneck who reads government declassified documents."

That nicely sums up Alex Jones in a sentence.

[Amerokan]

Nice ones, Amerokan...btw, where did you get that /nick?

Thanks. I have a lot more quotes to post for everyone's enjoyment.

And... I got the idea for this name at the beginning of this year. It seemed like it makes a lot of sense.

[Amerokan]

"It's like we're starving to death on a boat out in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, so we're chopping our toes off, then our feet off and barbequeing them. But we can't-we can't sustain ourselves that long eating ourselves."

Bob Chapman: "Perfect example."

*in response to a woman who got pulled over for having Ron Paul for President bumper stickers on her car*
"I mean, I guess in the future you'll be taken to a death camp or tasered."

"He got real smart mouthed with me. *hick accent* CUZ HE'S AN AMERICAN PATRIOT, AND I'M NOT. OUUUHHHHHH. IT'S GOOD TO JUST... BELIEVE DA MEDIA, AND... ugh, it's incredible."

"It's not winning by a nose. It's just... OUUUUUUHHHHHHHHRAAAAAOOOOUUUGHUUHH. I mean, I'm not being mean here. It's a fact! Just literally. RAAAAAAHYYYUUUUHHHHHAAAAHH, NONE OF IT EXISTS. GOVERNMENT'S ALWAYS GOOD. THERE'S NO ELITE. THERE'S NO... I mean, I don't... ugh. Thank you for the call, sir. Absolutely."

[Amerokan]

"Major Australian, Japanese papers. Doesn't exist here in America! Hell, they may start saying JAPAN doesn't exist! Americans--I'm not kidding! They may start saying nothing exists but Budweiser and acting tough!"

"Evidence of that is... 90 plus percent wanna control the borders. Both parties say 'Shut up, you don't like it? SWAT team will drop by.'"

*in response to a caller talking about Bill Kristol*
"I mean, he's a Trotskyite, so that's the new conservative."

"And the cop bubbling neurotically, obsessive compulsive about MMMM PRO-CEE-DJUR. MMMM, IT'S PRO-CEE-DJUR!! EVERYTHING'S MM PRUH... PRUH-CEE-DJURE. WE DO IT ALL ACCORDING TO THE PROCEDURE!"

"Well, don't... y'know, it's a conspiracy theory. There's no government corruption. The government's perfect. Everything's fine. And if you don't agree with that, you're with al-Qaeda."

[Amerokan]

"They'll just tell the cops that babies are al-Qaeda, and they'll throw 'em off cliffs. Cut their heads off, suck their blood. RAARAAHH. Just... RAAAAHRAHRA. WE'RE THE GOVERNMENT!! WE RAPE YOU!! WE'RE CRIMINALS!! Here we go. We're gonna go back live right now. I'm just so sick of 'em! It pisses me off! Just filth, scum. Dumb idiots everywhere believing whatever the government says. You idiots have NO IDEA!! ALL YOU PEOPLE SAYING WE'RE MAKING THIS UP, YOU'RE GONNA FIND OUT! BECAUSE OF YOUR IGNORANCE!! AND YOU LETTING THEM DO THIS, WE'RE SCREWED!! Here we go."

[judgemental]

"When things start falling apart, the mases are gonna turn into a bunch of howling demons.  Then the new world order is gonna point them at the patriots and say 'sick'em'!"

[Amerokan]

"You need to tell them that mommy and daddy are going away to a work camp if they ever talk bad about the family. I mean... period. We're now in the Soviet Union. Steve..."

"If the nukes ever start going up, the yuppies will probably come out and say, 'Oh no, it's a sun tan! It's not a nuke!' I'm not joking. They'll probably run into it. They'll probably drive into the mushroom clouds going, 'It's good!! It's al-Qaeda!! Oh I love it!! Oh Bill Clinton!! Save me!!'"

"And if I tell you 2 + 2 = 97, it does! Or you're with al-Qaeda, boy!"

[Godsent]

The media can sell you a dog Turd and calling  it a Ice Cream Sunday!

[37]

He has Ventura down pat.  That impersonation he did at the end of the show on 10/27/08 was HILARIOUS!!

http://forum.prisonplanet.com/index.php?topic=38235

[Geolibertarian]

He has Ventura down pat.  That impersonation he did at the end of the show on 10/27/08 was HILARIOUS!!

If you watch the video, you'll see it was actually Alex and Jason going back and forth. Alex's impersonation was definitely the better of two.

"You know how I deal with poachers on my little lake?" 

[911aware]

"sometimes....at 3 in the morning...i miss the toilet."

[Femacamper]

Number one, Barack Obama...he isn't going to run anything. Get that through your heads. He is traitorously going to lead this country into the gallows. We are already bleeding to death as a nation, on our knees. And they are opening announcing world government run for and by the bankers regulating you through your carbon footprint. Everything you exhale, everything you do - there's a carbon emission for almost every form of human activity. It doesn't matter that the north and south poles got 30% bigger this year. It doesn't matter if we're having record cold temperatures. It doesn't matter if the sun has cooled off and the entire solar system is freezing again, including the ice caps on Mars. The moons of Jupiter and Saturn are freezing again...they become liquid seas. They don't care. It is a world banking system where every facet of your life will be regulated, where you will have carbon credits. They will also regulate and tax all financial transactions. This is open world government. It is the New World Order. And you are preconditioned that that didn't exist, and that wasn't real, and now all these world leaders and banking leaders are openly calling for it. They are making their move and they've put a new front man in there they're calling the "President of the World" to sucker the planet into going along with it.

It's basic child psychology. They talk to you like you're children. "Oh, George Bush says global warming isn't real. He's dumb and stupid. He's from Texas." Meanwhile he signed on to it, and has actually been pushing it, and signed us on to UNESCO and endorsed it. So did John McCain. But then the left all said, "Oh well, it must be real. It must be real! You know if George Bush, says it isn't, we better be for it!" See that basic psychology, that good cop - bad cop game that they play with you. So Democrats, you are outraged, you are angered by Patriot Act I and II, you are outraged of the phony drug war. You are outraged by the secret arrests, torture, rendition, and the wars. You are outraged by the attacks on free speech, protests and demonstrations - all of it continuing - it had nothing to do with George Bush. He was a puppet. It had nothing to do with Bill Clinton. He was a puppet. It had nothing to do with George Bush Sr. These people are front men for the social engineers. Nothing is going to CHANGE other than the fact they're going to turn the heat up even more, the height of the flame, the intensity of the flame, burning this country to bits, destroying our freedoms, decimating liberty. That's the only change. There will be no "CHANGE" in reducing and reversing tyranny, only in intensification of it, with the public confused and bamboozled into believing that they're seeing real change. And the most dangerous sign, the most dangerous issue that we're dealing with is that - I have watched newsreels going back to the 1930s. I have read the historical books on every time period in the last three hundred years, and in the United States, the last two hundred and thirty-four years since our country was officially founded, and I have never seen the media worshiping someone like they were Kim Jong Il of North Korea, or Stalin of Russia, or Adolf "Adolfus" Hitler of the Reich. I have never seen it. In fact, it took them five, six years, after Hitler got in power in 33...they didn't start worshiping until 39. They didn't start using all those Messiah terms until they were getting the public ready to go into war, to go into empire, to go into unpopular things. And now they're doing it with Obama out of the gates, from the very beginning."

Nov 5, 2008, Hour 1: about 0:25-0:29 min of the commercial-free show. HI | LO

Someone should make a video with the audio... 

[Raincheck]

"I am literally...had a list of countries, I'm looking at it now. The passports are in order." 11/5

[Geolibertarian]

After making a sarcastic remark:

"That's a joke, for those drinking fluoride."

 

[Geolibertarian]

"Ladies and gentlemen, there's no way to polish this thing. It is what it is -- a big turd."

[Raincheck]

one I heard a couple weeks ago...

"Eddie Haskells with armies"

[amdarvon]

What about his blurb about mammary glands? I also have enjoyed the man when he laughs. It is from the heart.

[9/11 in movies]

I don't know if this has been used because i couldn't read them all but..."Hi I'm Alex Jones,the guy that sneaked in your club and video taped the rituals"..or something like that but the guys reaction was classic he couldn't believe it and he looke scared.

[Femacamper]

Alex, on his devotion to the Infowar:

"I need you guys to help me get this done now. In fact, I'll just stay here...I'm not leaving. I think I'll set up a cot up in this place! I'm not even leaving!..."

[Parentsfortruth]

"You need to tell them that mommy and daddy are going away to a work camp if they ever talk bad about the family. I mean... period. We're now in the Soviet Union. Steve..."

"If the nukes ever start going up, the yuppies will probably come out and say, 'Oh no, it's a sun tan! It's not a nuke!' I'm not joking. They'll probably run into it. They'll probably drive into the mushroom clouds going, 'It's good!! It's al-Qaeda!! Oh I love it!! Oh Bill Clinton!! Save me!!'"

"And if I tell you 2 + 2 = 97, it does! Or you're with al-Qaeda, boy!"

Oh man, I know....

[level1online]

Right after that Press TV Interview 04/30/09 going into the break, Alex says,

"If you're stoned and all... y'know HIGH, callin' up 'hey maaan, buuuuuh...' I DON'T WANT THAT!"

"THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, THIS IS BIG BOY PANTS TIME!"

"PUT BIG BOY PANTS ON! STOP SMOKING THE POT!"

----

I haven't heard someone refer to the "Big Boy" pants since i was 3 years old, potty training!!!! 

[Femacamper]

"The whole world is a cigarette-burned crackwhore."

-- June 23, 2009, 17 minutes into the commercial-free show.

[Femacamper]

"This document makes Endgame look like a whitewash, the author makes Jeffrey Dahmer look like a choir boy. All our combined previous work pales in comparison to the information I will reveal today..."

7 minutes in to the Sunday show, July 12th, 2009, Alex Jones' most important broadcast to date.

[Doctor No NWO]

I like all of AJ's quotes & rants

Remember when Alex danced around the studio holding a picture of the Al-Qaeda Monster

That was a Classic! ... I loved it

I think that hit a home run in the minds of all the simple sheeple out there

[Femacamper]

I like all of AJ's quotes & rants

Remember when Alex danced around the studio holding a picture of the Al-Qaeda Monster

That was a Classic! ... I loved it

I think that hit a home run in the minds of all the simple sheeple out there

I think tehowe still uses that as his avatar pic...I got jealous...

[Femacamper]

"Dorothy, we're not in Kansas anymore!"

[iks83]

(I think) Alex talking about phony pastors telling their flock to submit. "we are all supposed to be born as jellyfish floating in the sea of corruption"

[Geolibertarian]

"I ain't no ho! I ain't no bitch!"

[nagazaki]

But the stupid moron public, dumber than dirt, that sucks their thumb, eats cheese burgers, drinks beer and watches TV all day while gobbling prozac; and watching porno movies, has no idea of what's going on!

- From his radio show august 11th in the 1st hour

[thnkfstpal]

SERIOUSLY THOUGH. BEST THREAD EVER !!!!!   

[New Whirled Order]

From the Sunday show....

"It's a different kind of economic recovery.  The kind where bankers steal trillions and you don't have a job.

LMAO! 

[MinisterofInfo]

10/6/09: "They have made us decadent evil slobs, our spiritual immune systems have been brought down!"

 

[iks83]

Max Keiser made a total hilarious analogy so I think it might be good to widen the thread to generally best quotes uttered on the show.

"Within 6 months there will be Banks going to Congress saying: 'If you don't give us another 5 trillion dollars we are gonna do a suicide mission, we're gonna blow ourselves up!' Which is what Paulsen (? not sure about the spelling) did if you remember, he said: 'Give us 700 billion dollars or we gonna blow up this entire economy.' He was like one of these suicide bombers in front of Congress and he strapped on like 5 trillions of the derivatives contracts he was gonna explode in everyones face."