Here's another. HA!http://trueslant.com/lewisgrossberger/2009/09/04/leaked-text-of-obama-speech-to-schoolchildren-shows-parents-right-to-worry/
Leaked text of Obama speech to schoolchildren shows parents right to worry
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Hi, kids. My name is Barack Obama and Iím the President of the United States. Iím sure you all know what that means. It means you have to do whatever I tell you because if you donít, I can take away your mommy and daddy and youíll never see them again.
So listen real carefully, OK?
I know a lot of you havenít been paying much attention to the argument we grown-ups are having about health-care reform. Thatís all right. Itís really complicated stuff. Most of your parents have no idea what itís all about either.
All you really need to remember is this: When you get home from school today, tell your mom and dad, ďMom and dad, youíve got to write your Congressman and senators in support of the Presidentís health-care reform.Ē
Can you remember that? Iíll say it again, real slow. Mom and dad, youíve got to write your Congressman and senators in support of the Presidentís health-care reform.
OK, now you all say it.
Great! That was really good. You are a great bunch of kids and Iím proud of you.
Now after you get home and tell mom and dad to write, I want you to let a little time go by and then ask them whether theyíve done it yet.
And if they say no, I want you to cry. Really, really loud. And kind of bang your head against the wall. And keep doing it until they promise to sit down and write their Congressman and senators. Hey, itíll be fun! Itís not real crying and banging, just play crying and banging but mommy and daddy wonít know that. Thatís a little secret between you and me.
Now everyone who does this and gets their folks to contact their representatives will get to do something amazingly awesome. You see, kids, Iím starting a really cool club for you to join. Itís called Barackís Socialist Funhouse and thereís going to be one in every town and city in America.
This club is just for kids. No grownups allowed! Itís gonna be so great. Thereíll be ice cream and soda and videogames and toys and movies and music. And for you older kids, a lot of hooking up. Plus youíll hear all about a couple of super guys named Marx and Lenin. They were whatís called revolutionaries, which is kind of like being a rapper or a vampire, except itís even cooler.
But all thatís going to be happening in a couple of months. So for now, just remember, ďMom and Dad, write your Congressmen and senators in support of the Presidentís health-care reform.Ē
Thank you for listening, kids. I know I can count on you.