Author Topic: The Onion Hoax: The CLASSIFIED 'Homeland Terrorism Preparedness Bill'  (Read 39453 times)

Offline Jackson Holly

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If you have never seen this - IT WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF!

Short video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWfKdKWJEkM


Rep. John Haller Introduces House Bill HR8791:

Transcript:
"Congress will now vote for approval of HR8791, the "Homeland Terrorism Preparedness Bill." Said bill requests emergency response funding, up to and including -- ah... I'm sorry this section is classified -- ah, dollars to prepare for a national level terrorist attack and or attacks from ... [CLASSIFIED]. Funding for first responder personnel and vehicles would be doubled if said attack leads to more than eighty percent of national population being effected by [CLASSIFIED].

This funding shall convene in conjunction with the first attack on [CLASSIFIED], or the first large scale outbreak of [CLASSIFIED], dependent upon which comes first.

Civilian and military units shall be trained in containment and combat of [CLASSIFIED] including irradiated [CLASSIFIED] with possibility of [CLASSIFIED] airborne [CLASSIFIED], [CLASSIFIED] flesh-eating, [CLASSIFIED] and or all of the above in such event as [CLASSIFIED] spewing [CLASSIFIED] escape are released or otherwise become uncontrollable.

Air Force units may also be directed to combat said -pause- [CLASSIFIED] due to their enormous size and other-worldly strengths. Should event occur in urban areas ... Jesus ... - long pause - ah ... that's classified... far surpassing our darkest nightmares. Should casualties exceed [CLASSIFIED] body disposal actions shall be halted and associated resources shall be reallocated through [CLASSIFIED] underground [CLASSIFIED] protected birthing centers. -ah- New Bill of Rights shall drafted and approved by [CLASSIFIED].


Having now reviewed the bill, I ask you to please cast your votes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WTF is going on my friends? We should rise up and demand
an explanation from our loving government!



ORWELL: “The very concept of objective truth is fading out of the world. Lies will pass into history.”

Offline Dig

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hoax/hoax/hoax
All eyes are opened, or opening, to the rights of man. The general spread of the light of science has already laid open to every view the palpable truth, that the mass of mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately

Offline Dig

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But it is amazing how believable it is huh?
All eyes are opened, or opening, to the rights of man. The general spread of the light of science has already laid open to every view the palpable truth, that the mass of mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately

Offline Jackson Holly

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Sane:

Yes ... I saw it awhile back and dismissed it ... but it keeps coming back. I know the OP says it was 'edited'  ... but how edited I wonder? It seems not that far removed from reality.

ORWELL: “The very concept of objective truth is fading out of the world. Lies will pass into history.”

Offline Geolibertarian

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Here's one of my all-time favorites:

       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3_95F5e-Ac

;)
"Abolish all taxation save that upon land values." -- Henry George

"If our nation can issue a dollar bond, it can issue a dollar bill." -- Thomas Edison

http://webofdebt.com
http://schalkenbach.org
http://forum.prisonplanet.com/index.php?topic=203330.0

Offline Jackson Holly

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^ ^ ^

HaHAHHAhha ...  ;D ... comatose Obamaniacs! Love it!

I didn't know the HR8791 bill had been claimed by ONION ... too funny. There are still stories coming out (see RENSE today: http://www.rense.com/general86/rage.htm ) saying that the bill was passed. I ran a google for "Homeland Terrorism Preparedness Bill" and there are 89,000+ pages. Googling "HR8791" gets 17,000+.

Anyway ... my bad ... chalk one up to stupidity!
ORWELL: “The very concept of objective truth is fading out of the world. Lies will pass into history.”

Offline Dig

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^ ^ ^

HaHAHHAhha ...  ;D ... comatose Obamaniacs! Love it!

I didn't know the HR8791 bill had been claimed by ONION ... too funny. There are still stories coming out (see RENSE today: http://www.rense.com/general86/rage.htm ) saying that the bill was passed. I ran a google for "Homeland Terrorism Preparedness Bill" and there are 89,000+ pages. Googling "HR8791" gets 17,000+.

Anyway ... my bad ... chalk one up to stupidity!


Jackson, no offense but you do have a tendency to fall for these things.  You always admit the mistakes,m but if you could first post in questions or pm a member that is good at smelling disinfo forst it would help in shocking the forum and then having to backtrack.  And do not stop going to the websites that you do, every so often you stumble on great stuff that no one else sees.

But just huld back on the "shock and awe" titling of threads until the thing is verified.

thanks
All eyes are opened, or opening, to the rights of man. The general spread of the light of science has already laid open to every view the palpable truth, that the mass of mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately

Offline Unintelligable Name

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http://forum.prisonplanet.com/index.php?topic=113936.0

Apparently didn't get my memo.

I should have named it something craaaaazy... or not -- since I can't stand that!

Offline Jackson Holly

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Jackson, no offense but you do have a tendency to fall for these things.  You always admit the mistakes,m but if you could first post in questions or pm a member that is good at smelling disinfo forst it would help in shocking the forum and then having to backtrack.  And do not stop going to the websites that you do, every so often you stumble on great stuff that no one else sees.

But just huld back on the "shock and awe" titling of threads until the thing is verified.

thanks

No offense taken Sane ... I should have known better. I'm glad you were on top of it and got me on track guickly.

http://forum.prisonplanet.com/index.php?topic=113936.0

Apparently didn't get my memo.

I should have named it something craaaaazy... or not -- since I can't stand that!

What do we know about ONION ... are they in this simply for dumb fun, or what?
Thanks.

ORWELL: “The very concept of objective truth is fading out of the world. Lies will pass into history.”